From the cheap seats

The stunner
Nanjing Night Net

Manchester City victimises another EPL opponent (Spurs) by a crushing margin (5-1), and butters up to post even more amazing figures – a loss of $284 million from 2011-2013. Presumably that isn’t just loose change that rolled under the soft drink machine. Admittedly, within the modern “big club” financial parameters, this is probably considered standard “lunch, clean towels and office stationery” type money. In stark contrast, City’s goal difference is so ridiculously in the black that the players could probably knock off early and go visit the remaining ownership money in Abu Dhabi for a few months without any of the rival clubs approaching that figure.

The snoozer

This column may be tap-dancing out of time with public opinion on this issue, but quite frankly any mention of the Mumbai Mumblers, the Punjab Palookas, the Rajasthan Ringadings or any other IPL reference is, for certain individuals, a cast-iron guarantee of an instant, slumped sideways in the armchair, full blown, power snore-athon.

The yak attack

Leigh Matthews proposed a congestion-fighting method of restricting a certain number of players to within the 50m arcs during centre bounces. And, while he readily admitted that the pitfalls might be in the administration, it’s not, on the surface of it, such a bad idea. The league agrees to trial player names on the back of guernseys. Some clubs and officials indicate at least tentative agreement that football department spending is out of hand, and needs to be monitored. This is all extremely disconcerting. All of these stories seem to make sense. Normally by this time of year, you’ve had at least half a dozen truly crackpot proposals and rule changes. It tends to promote a fair old case of the shudders about what we might have to endure when the other shoe finally drops.

How far the cherry?

Contrary to a fair amount of general screaming panic in the media during the lead-up months, Sochi Olympics CEO Dmitry Chernyshenko has described the Games’ setting as “the most secure venue at the moment on the planet”. Compared to what – a major department store during Boxing Day sales? Incidentally, define “at the moment”. The chief added that the security procedures would be “very gentle and smooth”. Those are more qualities you expect to find in yoghurt.

Bozo of the week

After his team was eliminated by Sunderland in its League Cup semi, Manchester United fan Martin Davies, 56, conceived of a plan that possibly only he, out of billions of people on the planet, could have thought was just a dandy idea. Mr Davies decided that it would be timely to personally inform Alex Ferguson that he needed to once again take over the coaching reins at United. Additionally, he determined that the best way to get in touch with Ferguson would be to call the UK police emergency number 999. It is perhaps both germane and unnecessary to mention that Mr Davies had been drinking to some degree when he conceived of this foolproof master plan. His initial defence for calling the police was that Man U had “…become so erratic, it’s almost criminal.” He later generously conceded, “I guess I made an error.” Oh, at least.

Reader feedback

Greg Carpenter pointed out that Black Caviar was confirmed as ‘the greatest female equine athlete world racing has seen in the modern era.’ Call me old fashioned, but I call her a horse. – BJ COYLE, East Ballina

Send feedback to [email protected]南京夜网

This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on Nanjing Night Net.